Steve Clayton

Leader and Father of reality-christianity

I grew up in a poor, but happy, background – asbestos council prefabs, bordered by bomb sites. We weren’t a church-going family. Mum sent my sister and me to Sunday school, but we bunked-off. I can remember assembly at school, dreary hymns and the Lord’s Prayer … it meant nothing to me. Growing up I had nothing to do with church. I sneered at Christianity, which I saw as a crutch, for weak people who couldn’t cope with life.

For many reasons … fostered, isolated by grammar school, pressure to succeed … I think I always had a deep sense of insecurity, of needing to fit in, of needing to please people. Anyone here like watching films? Anyone here been in a film? Anyone here really wanted to be in the films? Well now, as I look back, I see that – for so much of my life – I’d been acting … putting on masks, hiding behind screens, inventing/fantasising! I kind of thought “If they knew the real me, would they like me? would I like me?!!” I realised - about age 50 – I didn’t even know the real me …. How about you?! Do you know who you are? why you’re here?

Let me share with you, briefly, some of my “roles”. Steve the Success – I thought if I was good at everything I did, then I’d be accepted, approved, valued … instead I found you’re only as good as your last performance … you’re always about to fall short, to fail. Steve the Joker – life & soul of the party. I thought if I could always be bright and bubbly and make people laugh they’d like me, want me around, be my friends …but living to please people is hard work! exhaustion, anxiety, depression! Steve the Wealthy – I made a lot of money, thinking that would make me respected and safe … not a bit of it! riches just add to insecurity (will I lose it? do folk only want me for my money?), wealth does not bring happiness. Steve the Compassionate – I’d go out of my way to help people, but (looking back) with the wrong motive - I was trying to buy their love … my acts of generosity and mercy were more about me than others! Steve the Victim – what’s the point of life?! poor me, poor me, poor (pour) me a drink … yes I escaped a lot of the time in a bottle … except that bottle becomes the prison.

Now some of these roles are not bad in themselves: nothing wrong with success, laughter, compassion … but I used them to hide from real life! from the real purpose and meaning of my life. Aged 50, I realised I’d rejected something – God if you like – without knowing anything about it … I decided to investigate, on the Alpha course.

At first I was fearful about Alpha: would it be boring – no it was great fun; would I be preached at – no it was just open easy discussion; would I be disliked – for having so many questions – no. Over the course I found three things to be the opposite of my view before. I had thought Christianity to be untrue, irrelevant and boring … I found: tons of evidence – that it’s true; as it is true – it’s relevant, it applies to me, it’s true for me too; it’s not boring – it’s alive, exciting, fulfilling. My false (“acting”) life had been like 14”black & white, mono; and now I’d found 50”, technicolour, surround-sound, HD – I’d never go back.

In a nutshell, on Alpha I found out a lot about God ... but, much more important, I found I can know him … that Christianity is not so much a religion as a relationship: a personal relationship, a partnership, a friendship. As I grow (a lifelong journey) in the Christian faith I find more and more: acceptance - that God loves me just as I am; security - that God will always be there for me; and purpose – that God’s plan is to help me to be all I was created to be. I’ve found joy – not just happiness. I’ve found peace – not just protection. I found freedom – to be the real me. My only unfulfilled ambition now is to help more people find the treasure I’ve found – how I wish I’d found out 30+ years earlier!

Now here’s the final twist!! I found church hard-going - and that for many folk it was a complete turn-off. So Karen, my wife, and I tried to change church … which was hard to do! So instead we’ve gone back to the drawing-board, to the church Jesus started in the first-century … to a closer, deeper community of Christ followers … that’s when, in 2007, we felt God’s strong call on us … to start reality-christianity please browse on, about not a new church but a very old church … about church as it was at the beginning, about church as it should be!

Caz

Testimony coming soon
To read some of Caz’s poems click here